On an instagram Q&A (@stephan_kesting) I was recently asked, “What is the most unlikely yet fortuitous place jiu-jitsu has come in handy for me?”
You might think that the answer was using it to subdue an opponent in some crazy streetfight, but actually my antagonist was far more deadly than that; polycystic kidney disease…
Here’s the video of me answering this question in full…
I’ve been a firefighter for 25 years now, and have definitely had to use my grappling skills to physically restrain people a few times. And there were many more situations, both on and off duty, where knowing that I could handle myself kept me calm and helped me figure out how to de-escalate things.
But the strangest place I ever did use my jiu-jitsu is when I was dying of polycystic kidney disease (full story of that here).
In the end I got down to 12% kidney function (dialysis usually starts at 15%) and desperately needed a kidney transplant to save my life.
Transplants, like all operations, are not without risks though. I had no idea if I would survive the operation, if my body would reject the kidney after transplantation, or what my quality of life would be afterwards. I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to do jiu-jitsu, play with my kids, or roam around the outdoors ever again.
What helped me was a concept I learned from Brandon ‘Wolverine’ Mullins when we were filming the How to Defeat the Bigger, Stronger Opponent instructional.
At one point Brandon mentioned that if you’re on the bottom of mount then you have no choice but to follow the steps to get out. First do this, then do that. Now there’s no guarantee that these steps will result in a successful escape, but what are your options? If you do nothing then for sure you won’t escape and you’ll probably get tapped out. If you try the steps they may work and you may get out, so working the steps is your best option.
With this in mind, I worked the steps.
Before my transplant I tried to stay in as good a shape as possible. I hydrated like crazy. I tried to improve my sleep. I wrote a will, got a power of attourney, and made arrangements to help my kids if I died. I followed all the advice from the doctors and did every test.
In other words I controlled everything in my sphere of control.
Did that guarantee my survival? No, just like following the steps to get out of mount won’t neccesarily get you out of mount. But what are your other options?
Although I found the BJJ mount analogy particularly useful, this is not an entirely new concept. Other people have expressed this before…
Epictetus, a Greek stoic philosopher who live in Rome 2,000 years ago, said “Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens.” That’s essentially the same thing.
I am all about raging, raging against the dying of the light, but a man’s got to know his limitations too.
If you’re going through a tough time in your life – academic exams, a divorce, financial troubles, health problems, whatever – figure out what the steps are and work those steps.
Control what is controllable, because what are your other options?
Stephan Kesting
Use BJJ Mentality to Get Through the Tough Times – Audio Only
This rant was also published as episode 402 of The Strenuous Life Podcast. You can also listen to the audio-only format of the episode on your podcast player.
It’s on all major podcast platforms, but here are some of the links to get you started…
- Apple Podcasts
- Spotify Podcasts
- And most other podcast players
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